If you’ve ever read J. Cameron’s The Artist’s Way (if you’re blocked, it’s a good resource to start with, though different people feel differently about the vaguely 12-step approach. I should also mention that as far as I can tell from some minimum research is related to this book/method - she doesn’t seem to be writing a lot of new stuff or producing new films, which I’m not sure is a good sell for her book as a help to writers, though it does suggest that the method works to find your path, whatever that might turn out to be. I found it helpful FWIW), you’ll recognize the term “shadow artist.” It’s the way she describes people who are artists (in their souls as it were) but for some reason (fear, anger, practical blocks, etc) they can’t move as artists, so they surround themselves with art, help other artists, etc…they get close to it without DOING it.
Now for the first time in my life, I think I’m turning myself into one of them. I have NEVER had writer’s block before. I wrote and sent stuff out compulsively, as a kid, as a young adult, in college, I had my first story published in a SERIOUS publication WHILE I WAS DOING CLERKSHIPS IN MEDICAL SCHOOL, fer cryin’ out loud. I mean, if that won’t block you, nothing will.
And now I’m sitting on stories, poems, you name it, and what’s around me?
Exhibit A: Best friend #1 is taking a year long workshop with A Name editor and writer. The novel she’s writing is based on a VERY interesting set of ideas, and the little I’ve heard about it makes it sound to me like a winner. And The Name was impressed by my friend from before they met. And I’ve promised the friend I’ll read her first chapter when she’s ready to show it.
Exhibit B: Another dear friend wrote some children’s stories for fun, thought, hey wouldn’t this make a good book?, sent it off to an agent - okay, she’s got an agent now and they like the work.
Exhibit C: I am currently editing my mother’s latest novel - a mystery based on two things she’s lived - being an Indian woman and being a forensic scientist. And it’s actually quite good. And she’s the one who discouraged me from being a writer because I “would starve.” I’m editing the book, her bio, her query letters, and why…? Because the payments will cover my student loan payments for a year. My student loan payments from medical school. Which is what I did instead of writing.
Exhibit D: I got a project as a medical writer, which (assuming there are no slips between the cup and lip in the next week) will pay for the laptop I just bought (my old one died. as in the mother board bit the dust) and possibly making the difference between our gaining and losing a house we have a bid on (long story. some other time. I’m already depressed).
Okay, so what’s wrong with this picture? I’m not doing any creative writing. I’ve stopped being able to use the poetry prompts on Poetic Asides (which to be fair is partly because of the death of the laptop - the only time I have to write is when my son’s in preschool and I’m at the local cafe’ waiting for him). I’m helping other people create, but the writing I’m doing (which should at least ease our squeeze enough to buy me a tiny bit of time for myself) isn’t helping the writing I want to be doing. I’m totally stopped - I feel like I ran into the mime-wall. Nothing there, but it sure feels like it. Or maybe wonder woman’s invisible jet - bam!
Something has got to change. It looks like circumstances - buying a house is more stressful in the Bay Area than most places I know, we’re having financial issues, and I’m having some personal freak outs about maybe not having a second kid that are NOT helping. But usually when I’m freaked I write (look I’m even doing it now). But I can’t do it for myself.
Help me, Mr. Wizard?
